Fooooood. Glorious fooooood. No meat.

I’m a horrible chef. Make that wannabe chef. My main problem is my lack of creativity in the kitchen. Hubby-to-be jokes (or maybe he’s serious?) that we always have the same ingredients in the fridge: vegetables (ok for the whole 5-a-day thing, but in our case it’s more like 10-a-day), pastry, cheese and eggs. My specialty is mixing them (yes, literally) to create some bland concoction that is nothing more than a variation on the same theme: über healthy, no salt, no flavour. And no meat.

I’m not a meat lover. I find it smelly and unhygienic. Not to mention a cruel, barbaric way to nourish myself. Yet my body seems to crave meat from time to time. It must be some innate urge dating back to prehistoric times. I tried to become a vegetarian a while ago, but after five days my body gave up on me. Although (I thought) I was eating enough protein and carbohydrates, my energy levels dropped below zero. Maybe I should’ve tried a gradual approach instead of going cold turkey. Maybe I should have enlisted the help of a dietician. Somewhere along the way I failed. The whole idea behind it was that I would not only save animals, but also protect the environment, because meat production is an energy-intensive activity. I’ve resorted to eating meat once, maybe twice a week, and buying mainly local products. That way I feel like I’m contributing to a healthier planet, but in reality I doubt whether it makes that much of a difference. For the time being, our menu is semi-vegetarian, until I come up with some other fad.

Not only do I find meat a little disgusting, I just have no idea what to do with it. I know meat shouldn’t equal boring, but in my kitchen it usually does. Generally speaking I’m a super creative person, but give me a chopping board, a knife and a piece of dead animal and I’m lost. Roast has to be my biggest fail: it’s drier than a popcorn fart. And my rib eye tastes like chewing gum that’s been in your mouth far too long and has that horrible aftertaste of bad breath and faint mint flavour. Veggies are more fun to work with. They’re versatile and allow for mistakes. If you overcook a carrot it's not going to taste like wet cardboard. Or is it?

Below one of my creations. I liked it. Hubby-to-be just added salt. And sighed.

Roasted tomato and spinach quiche