Translator’s OCD

I have a confession: I have a serious form of OCD – Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Before I leave my house I check that the iron is switched off three times, despite knowing fully well I haven’t used it in a fortnight. I also feel the desperate need to triple-check that the water heater is off. I have good reason to do so, considering it has exploded twice in the past five years, flooding the entire corridor and damaging everything from expensive shoes to valuable books.

Unfortunately my obsessive behaviour doesn’t end there. You guessed it, my OCD shows its ugly head in my little office corner as well, forcing me to strategically place my mug twenty centimetres from my Mac, on the right side of my desk, never on the left. But there’s more… Translator’s OCD is also:

1.     Checking a translation not twice, but three to four times to make sure you haven’t forgotten any paragraphs. Or commas. Commas are always a struggle.

2.     Opening your text just one more time after you’ve attached it to your e-mail only to realise you didn’t like that word in the title after all. Time to start all over again!

3.     Going back to the original e-mail from the client five minutes before the deadline to make sure you’ve translated the text into the right language. Usually a waste of time. Usually, not always.

4.     Fretting over capital letters in titles. I don’t like them. But sometimes I do like them. No, no, I really dislike them. You get the picture.

5.     Worrying about having typed gibberish. That Lady Gaga song is so addictive. Help, did I accidentally include any of the lyrics in my text?!

The list goes on and on. The OCD messes with your head. You feel you need a break. So you decide to go for a walk to clear your mind, only to find yourself hurrying upstairs after two minutes to stare at your iron. It’s a vicious circle.

Five top tips for excellence in translation.

1)   Google as much as possible: don’t focus merely on the linguistic aspect, but also verify the content of the text. The client will be delighted to know you’ve actually done your research. Don’t hesitate to point out errors or question the information provided. A good translator takes his time to immerse himself in the subject. Needless to say you should always be subtle when informing the client of inconsistencies. After all, no one likes to be corrected and criticised.

2)   Ask a second translator to proofread your text. I know it may sound time-consuming and it may require additional (financial) resources, but in the long run it pays to have someone – preferably a translator – proofread your texts, at least when you’re dealing with large volumes. Remember that unfortunately very few translation agencies actually proofread all translations, so errors can end up costing you dearly.

3)   Take your time. Sure, the more translations you accept, the more money you make, but don’t overdo it. Ideally, you should finish a translation, close the document and re-read it after half an hour or so (or better even, the following morning). I guarantee you'll find typos and discrepancies you missed the first time around.

4)   Build up a network of translator friends and enlist their help whenever you need it. The world of translation is a tough sector where everyone wants a slice of the cake, but translators do realise they sometimes need each other’s help. Set your pride aside and just ask. Social media – Twitter in particular – has opened up so many possibilities, all just a click away!

5)   Your job is done once you’ve sent your work to the client, unless there are complaints and/or queries on his part. Don’t forget that your way of communicating with the client is just as important as the translation itself. Don’t just write “Here you go”. Show that you’ve put some effort into writing your e-mail. A brief, sloppy message doesn’t leave a good impression.

And of course, be passionate about what you do. I can’t stress this enough. If your heart is not in it, the quality of your work will be affected, so don't accept any assignments just for the sake of it. If you're not good at translating contracts, don't even bother. Focus on your field of expertise.

Au boulot!

Pet peeves during working hours...

I’ve got quite a few. I’m not an easy person to live with. And working with me must be quite a challenge. Here’s my top three:

1)   Noise. Screaming kids, barking dogs, trucks. I can’t handle any noise when I’m working. Even loud breathing can throw me off balance. I don't mind the radio and the TV though. I know I’m contradicting myself, but that’s me.

2)   Someone watching over my shoulder. Luckily I don’t have a boss checking my every move, but I absolutely hate it when hubby-to-be takes a peek at what I’m doing. Somehow whenever he does I’m on Facebook or Twitter, which doesn’t add to my credibility.

3)   Phone calls. When I’m working I don’t want to be disturbed. If you need me just e-mail or text me. Unless you have some life-threatening situation you need to notify me of. I answer my e-mails within five minutes. If you don’t receive a reply, I’m probably dead.

Memorise this if you don’t want to end up in my black book!