There’s no such thing as a selfless act...

This afternoon* hubby-to-be and I joined his colleagues for a volleyball match in aid of Puttinu Cares, a foundation that helps children suffering from cancer and their families. We had a wonderful afternoon laughing with friends and competing against each other (his team won, damn it) and we hope our contribution can make a difference, no matter how small.

Throughout the match I kept thinking about the meaning of charity. We often donate to good causes, mostly locally, as we feel we can have a greater – and more visible – impact by helping those in our own community. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that we don’t care about the victims of tsunamis and hurricanes, but there are so many locals who need help. Doesn’t it make more sense to focus on them first? I don’t mean to write anything controversial, but after all this is our little world. And as much as we’d like to help everyone everywhere, it’s physically and financially impossible. We need to make choices in life.

The big question is: why do we help others, for their benefit or for ours? And why do we feel better about our efforts when we see tangible results? Although I hate to admit it, I must say helping others makes me feel good about myself. Seeing the results of my benevolence gives me a sense of pride. It’s a little ego boost. It’s not the main reason why I like to help, but it does play its part. I’m sure I sound like a horrible person now, but deep down I know many of you agree that there’s no such thing as a selfless act.

I translated a text about the importance of recognition the other day. The bottom line was that the advantages of a little pat on the back are often overlooked. Recognition is something that we don’t merely like to receive, we also enjoy praising ourselves for our kindness and our apparent righteousness. Regardless of the reasons for your support to charitable organisations, never stop giving. Someone somewhere will be grateful.

* I’m not a time traveller… I posted this on Saturday evening.

How to find professional happiness

First off, I’d like to point out that I don't believe any job can truly become a dream job. A job is a job. You need it to survive. Full stop. I have my doubts when people claim they managed to turn their hobby into their dream job. The moment your hobby becomes your work, you’re faced with the harrowing task of making a living out of what used to be your escape, a moment for yourself. A hobby is by definition something you can enjoy whenever you like, no strings attached. Even if it’s a sport that requires training, discipline and commitment, you’re still free to give up. Your mortgage doesn’t depend on it. The sooner you accept this, the better. 

I think I’ve found the job for me. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect, but it suits me. I manage to get through the day without counting down the minutes. I see challenges and opportunities. And more importantly, I’m good at my job. I’m a very humble person, but in my opinion there’s no harm in saying that you’re good at what you do. Otherwise what’s the point of doing it?

How to pursue professional happiness:

1)   Set high standards for your work. Don’t accept so-so. Make an effort to give it all you’ve got.

2)   Don’t let ambition blind you. There’s no point in working solely towards future goals. Focus on what you’ve got on your plate right now and give it your all. Remember that future successes depend on current performance.

3)   Don’t compare your work with that of others. Maybe your colleagues are better at project management than you are… See it as an opportunity. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can learn from them and they can learn from you.

4)   Work is work. No need to take it home with you. Easier said than done, but do try to make a clear distinction between your professional and your private life. Clear your head after hours. Taking a step back will take you two steps forward!

5)   Happiness at home comes first. If you’re unhappy privately, you’re bound to be counterproductive professionally.

6)   Be realistic. There are going to be bad days. You will make mistakes. You will be judged and criticised. And when that happens, just take a deep breath, shrug it off and start over. Slamming doors gets you nowhere.

7)   Friendship between colleagues is optional. Your job calls for teamwork, but you can’t stand the sight of them? Clench your teeth, have a double espresso and just get the work done. Forget friendly chats. Have your after-work drinks with a different crowd.

8)   Set clear boundaries. If there’s something you refuse to do, make it clear from the start. That way, you’ll avoid confrontations at a later stage. It takes guts to do this, but it shows you’re determined to play by your rules in order to succeed.

9)   Accept recognition. Don’t be one of those people who respond to a compliment by returning the compliment. If you excel at something, you’re allowed to feel good about it. No need to become arrogant, but a little pat on the back can go a long way.

10) Finally, a reminder: the perfect job doesn’t exist. Don’t waste your life looking for it. Just try to bag a job you enjoy (not easy in these hard times, I’m aware of that) and remember frustrations are part of it. Whenever there is money involved, you can expect some pain and suffering. But that only makes you stronger.

And last but not least: as contradictory as it may sound, tell yourself work is not everything. It’s important, essential even, but work doesn’t define who you are. It merely keeps you busy while trying to figure it out!